Today I decided not to go to Aberdeen after all. I'm afraid the chemo is taking a heavier toll on me than I dared to admit. This Sunday we had a very nice birthday party for Nuria with 10 children going by train to Amsterdam, taking a tiny ferry grip across the IJ waters behind the railway sation, and then walking to the Muziekgebouw aan 't IJ, a wonderful concert hall offering mainily contemporary, alternative and non-western music (in the past few years, we cooperated with them on several Chinese music series). There is a seperate floor there with a 'sound-playground' where they conduct workshops for children from seven up, who can experiment with all kinds of newly invented music machines. For instance there's a kind of huge mushroom with all kinds of coloured patches. Each patch you touch or tap produces a different sound. A group of children are asked to stand around the machine and invent a soundscape together. There's a floor with light patches that give different sounds when you step or stamp on them, so you can dance your own composition. Then there are computers on which you can draw sounds (!), or compose pieces of music. It was a great success. But of course, on the way back I was pretty exhausted... I had another rather full day yesterday and woke up feeling sick and tired. So even though my acupuncturist had kind of given me the green light (apprehensively), I realized my body simply isn't up to travelling at the moment.
Ah, how I'll miss all those friends - an the Scottish music!!! I'm going to try to reach some friends through skype these days. If any of you happens to be on the conference with a skype-connected laptop, or if you're at home (or at work..) feeling like a small chat: the skype account name of my laptop is frankchime. Hope to see you there!
dinsdag 13 september 2011
zaterdag 10 september 2011
Another month has passed, how time flies! Nuria started school again on the 15th of August. Feeling quite energetic, I enthusiastically brought her to school those first days. She's happy with her new teacher, and skipping a class was the right choice for her. Two other boys also hopped over to grade six, so she's not the only one. And she's in a class with grade 5 and 6 kids together, which makes the pass-over much less harsh. A week later, Elias started middle school. He has chosen a classical upbringing in a modern jacket: grammar school in a brandnew school building, with possibilities for computer classes and the like. He came home the first week with enthusiastic outcries like 'mom, this school's really super-cool!', and on Friday he sighed 'It's almost a pity that there will be no classes tomorrow...' Of course after two weeks, he's getting a bit apprehensive about all the homework, but overall speaking he likes the place, the teachers, and especially his new schoolmates. He brought home two new friends at the end of the first week. An absolute novelty! (During his entire primary schooltime, we had to push and pull to get him to play with classmates...) It's great to see both our children grow and mature like this!
As for myself, I overdid it a bit in those first weeks. I felt so good that I ran around like a mad cow let loose in the meadows in spring... My acupuncturist started to notice that I was tired, and gave me very earnest advice to ease off. After some time, I realised he was right. So I wrote the word 'rest' in my agenda on every day of the week, and undertook some 'serious sleeping'.
Last Wednesday I had another bout of chemo. The oncologist could not give me very encouraging news: the blood tests show no signs of improvement, and I might have to change to a different treatment next month if the CT scans give reason for that. But I'm not going to let my mood go down by some bloody blood tests! I still feel pretty well, so that's what I concentrate on. Just a bit sick from the chemo, but that usually lasts a week at the most. In my 'energetic period' I took the bold step to register for ESEM in Aberdeen (the annual European Seminar in Ethnomusicology, which Frank and I have been attending ever since the late eighties, and of which we took over a lot for our Chime conference format. It's a circle of friends, and I have been missing them a lot since I had to miss the last two conferences.) I HOPE we'll be able to join, but I realize that it might not be, if I don't feel fit enough. I'll simply let my acupuncturist decide next week.
During the dark summer months of which I spent most time in hospital, there was another very special person who 'fell into my lap' just at the right time. This was Peggy Huddleston, a researcher from Harvard University, who happened to be visiting a friend of ours in Amsterdam for a few days. Peggy has done groundbreaking research in the field of mental preparation for surgery, which makes patients heal faster and feel much better. She's also a healing practitioner. I had not heard of her (and knew nothing about 'healing'), but when this friend of ours proposed to let her come and have a session at my home I responded with a thankful YES! She sat next to my bed for more than two hours and we had a wonderful talk and unforgettable experience together. She gave me a tape with a relaxing text, during the second half of which she leads me to heal myself by thinking of my loved ones, and thinking of / experiencing some of the things she taught me during the session. I meditate with the help of this tape twice a day. There are times when the feeling is very strong, and other times when I'm a bit distracted. The best of times are... the weekly acupuncture sessions! When I lie down there relaxing with the needles, I run the tape in my head, at my own tempo, and somehow, the tears start floating automatically. These tears are like dew, like a refreshing shower that cleans and rejuvenates. I'm extremely thankful to both Peggy and doctor Tjong who opened this door for me. (For more information on doctor Tjong, see www.tjongtjintai.com. For info on Peggy's work, see www.healfaster.com)
As for myself, I overdid it a bit in those first weeks. I felt so good that I ran around like a mad cow let loose in the meadows in spring... My acupuncturist started to notice that I was tired, and gave me very earnest advice to ease off. After some time, I realised he was right. So I wrote the word 'rest' in my agenda on every day of the week, and undertook some 'serious sleeping'.
Last Wednesday I had another bout of chemo. The oncologist could not give me very encouraging news: the blood tests show no signs of improvement, and I might have to change to a different treatment next month if the CT scans give reason for that. But I'm not going to let my mood go down by some bloody blood tests! I still feel pretty well, so that's what I concentrate on. Just a bit sick from the chemo, but that usually lasts a week at the most. In my 'energetic period' I took the bold step to register for ESEM in Aberdeen (the annual European Seminar in Ethnomusicology, which Frank and I have been attending ever since the late eighties, and of which we took over a lot for our Chime conference format. It's a circle of friends, and I have been missing them a lot since I had to miss the last two conferences.) I HOPE we'll be able to join, but I realize that it might not be, if I don't feel fit enough. I'll simply let my acupuncturist decide next week.
During the dark summer months of which I spent most time in hospital, there was another very special person who 'fell into my lap' just at the right time. This was Peggy Huddleston, a researcher from Harvard University, who happened to be visiting a friend of ours in Amsterdam for a few days. Peggy has done groundbreaking research in the field of mental preparation for surgery, which makes patients heal faster and feel much better. She's also a healing practitioner. I had not heard of her (and knew nothing about 'healing'), but when this friend of ours proposed to let her come and have a session at my home I responded with a thankful YES! She sat next to my bed for more than two hours and we had a wonderful talk and unforgettable experience together. She gave me a tape with a relaxing text, during the second half of which she leads me to heal myself by thinking of my loved ones, and thinking of / experiencing some of the things she taught me during the session. I meditate with the help of this tape twice a day. There are times when the feeling is very strong, and other times when I'm a bit distracted. The best of times are... the weekly acupuncture sessions! When I lie down there relaxing with the needles, I run the tape in my head, at my own tempo, and somehow, the tears start floating automatically. These tears are like dew, like a refreshing shower that cleans and rejuvenates. I'm extremely thankful to both Peggy and doctor Tjong who opened this door for me. (For more information on doctor Tjong, see www.tjongtjintai.com. For info on Peggy's work, see www.healfaster.com)
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